Art: Crash - Durarara!! Wallpaper

As I continue on with the expose of my life, I'll begin with my first anime wallpaper post. Given that this is my first post about anime wallpapers, I should type out a bit of background to my Photoshop-ing past.

I've been Photoshop anime-related images for about 5-6 years now. It first started with just making simple web banners and signatures for a forum I used to frequent back in the day, back when I simply extracted stock images using the magic wand tool and pasted them onto filter spam backgrounds. Humble beginnings much. Eventually I ventured into the realm of making composite anime wallpapers, stumbling upon the amazing website, animepaper.net

Recently, I've been dwelling with the wonderful world of vector graphics, vector tracing and Adobe Illustrator. It's really amazing what one can do with vector graphics. Since most anime art is drawn in a style easily mimicked by vector graphics, vector tracing really opens up a lot of restrictions since vectors can be resized to any arbitrary size I want without any loss of detail. And for those who are wondering, the huge anime picture staring you in the face at the top of the blog is one of my older works.

Now onto this specific wallpaper. The underlying concept of this wallpaper is essentially an attempt to mimic a movie poster. Specifically, I was trying to sort of spoof the movie "Crash". Those of you who are familiar with the anime Durarara!! will be able to immediately draw the link between the anime and the movie. For those who are not in tune with the anime universe, quite a bit of context will be redoubtably loss.

I don't really want to talk too much about the wallpaper. I'll just let it do the talking for itself. In the future, I hope to be able to post all my future projects on this blog. For those who may be interested to see some of my older works, I have a deviantArt account at http://infernova.deviantart.com as well as an animepaper.net account at http://nova-kun.animepaper.net. Do pay me a visit if you have the time =D

Once A Dreamer

Have you ever had dreams?

Like those from your childhood, when you dreamt you could be a superhero saving the world. Like those from your adolescence, when you dreamt of being to coolest kid in school. Like those from your adulthood, when you dreamt that you could just be a better person.

I was once a dreamer, embracing dreams in hopes that one day they will come true. Living life as it was because I knew that whatever else happened, I still had my dreams. That nothing in the world mattered because I lived in the world of my dreams.

I was once a dreamer, till one day I realised that dreams are not enough to defeat reality. Realised that the world I live in is the real world, not the world of my dreams. For dreams alone are not good enough in real life.

I was once a dreamer, till I gave up simply dreaming because dreaming alone is not enough for anybody.

I was once just a dreamer, now I turn my dreams into reality.

Trials and Errors

Fear is a necessary evil. It keeps us safe. It keeps us sane. Like most other developed instincts, fear stems from our need for preservation as a species. Without fear, we would lose our inhibition for self-destruction altogether. However, fear itself isn't perfect. It cannot completely distinguish what is truly detrimental to us from what isn't. So as a safeguard, fear takes effect against everything in the grey zone. To protect us from what will harm us. To protect us from what might harm us. To protect us from what won't harm us.

It is necessary for us to take control of fear, not let fear take control of us. As a boy, I was deathly afraid of failure, deathly afraid of embarrassment, deathly afraid of being an inconvenience to others. Thus, that little boy never tried, bound by the invisible grip of fear. But one day, that boy realised that not all fears are to be feared, that death was little more than an exaggerated figment of his imagination. Thus, on that day the boy made a resolution to live a life of living, even if it kills him. For even if he died, at least he died living, not died dying.

It is necessary to live not inhibited by fear, nor ignorant of fear but alongside it. Fear is a necessary evil because it is by definition, necessary. To live a life without fear is stupid but to live a life governed by it is sad. Thus, I walk, hand in hand with fear, into the abyss of the unknown, so that one day I may meet the face of what I so feared.

Because it is necessary to understand that in life, if we never try, we will never fail but neither will we ever succeed.

Conversations With A Stranger

Today was supposed to be a day most like any other Sunday. I was on a bus on my way to have dinner with friends, sitting alone in a seat designed for one adult and one child. As the bus stopped to picked up more passengers, the usual stream of people walked past me as they made their way to the back of the bus in of more space but on Indian man decided to attempt to squeeze onto the one and a half chairs that I was occupying. Attempting to be considerate, I tried to squeeze in as far as possible, given that the chair was not made to seat two grown men. As I was squeezing in, the Indian man said something that I interpreted to be some form of gesture to say that it's okay but I took off my earphones to make sure anyway.

Then after a moment of silence, out of the blue the Indian man spoke to me in slightly broken English, "What's your name?". Caught off guard, I only managed to voice out a "huh?" in response to his question. "Your name?" the Indian man repeated, apparently conscious that his lack of grasp of English might be hindering the conversation. "Desmond," I responded, as I normally introduce myself to people whom I don't want to take the trouble with to explain my oddly spelled name.

And just like that, my conversation with a complete stranger began. The Indian man I speak of is a construction worker from India named Abu (I suspect that this is not his real name, rather a name given to him by his foreman in order to simplify his presumably complex Indian name). He's been working in Singapore for the last three years and is currently working on a construction project opposite NUS (the university I study at).

If anything, this conversation was enlightening. I've had my experiences talking to polytechnic students and secondary school dropouts while I was working as a waiter but this conversation was on a whole different level. It was most interesting to have an insight into how a foreign worker's life is. He didn't exactly recite his life story to me but it was obvious there were large discrepancies between his ideas and my ideas of normality. Like how immediately after asking if I was still studying, he proceeded to ask me if I was married, as if it was the expected norm to be married while still in school.

Some of his other questions gave me a more sobering insight to what his world is like. He asked me if I was working, if my job paid me at least $1000 per month, if I still send money back to my parents every month. He asked which "construction site" I'll be working at in the future, if I'll be working as a "technician". Without actually telling me anything explicitly, the phrasing of his questions alone gave me a brief insight what constitutes 'normal standards' for a foreign worker.

Another sobering thought is how Abu saw education as a pipedream. "How much is your education?" Abu asked. "About ten thousand." I replied. Immediately Abu dismissed the thought of studying. "Too expensive," he said. Yet, there I thought to myself, there are hundreds, if not thousands of students in NUS who are content with cruising through university just so they get some random degree and get out of university as quickly as possible, without batting a thought about the cost of their university eduation.

All in all, it was a really eye-opening conversation, even if it did only last for about 5 minutes, passing 4 bus stops.

Music: The Script - Science & Faith

I'll take a detour from my regular musings to stop to talk a bit about one of the things I take a little too seriously, music >.<

To be more precise, I want to talk about an album which I honestly believe should be getting more recognition and airplay that it actually is getting. That album is the second album by The Script, Science & Faith.

The thing I probably like the most about The Script is their lyrics. The feel of this album is a lot more mainstream than their previous album (departing from the previous albums fast-paced raps in favour for more traditional verses) but nevertheless, it still hold true to the lyrical genius that is The Script. The song verses are more akin to poetry verses, packed full of literary goodness to help drive home the album's concept of the darker, more unfortunate depiction of love (and love lost). Every song in this album is well written, filled with smart puns, metaphors and rhymes. The pacing of the songs are also written with purpose, driving home each chorus like a slap to the face or a big fat full stop after long prose. The album as a whole almost feels like a concept album of a single couple more than a string of stories about love, with each track flowing from to another flawlessly through the album's expose of 'could-have-been' stories.

My picks from this album are For The First Time, Nothing, Science & Faith and Exit Wounds, each for their own particular reasons. For The First Time is a nice track mostly because it's one of the 'happier' tracks in the album, letting the listener immerse themselves feel of how love could overwrite all of the troubles in the world. This is immediately juxtaposed by it's succeeding track, Nothing. Nothing is another of my personal favourites more because of the pacing and the writing of the song. Nothing delivers killer verses with the breaks in between aiding to add to the impact of the lyrics. Science & Faith on the hand is probably my favourite song from the entire album because it is the best sounding song. The backing track for this song is the most sonically pleasing from the album and the verses also perfectly embody the conflict between man of science and the woman of faith and emotion with a killer chorus to score the homerun. Exit Wounds is my final album pick for it's impressive use of imagery, drawing analogies between a victim of a gunshot and a victim of love. The sheer cleverness of the lyrics helps the listener to see the music more than hear it, serving as a perfect conclusion to an equally awesome album.

The only downside to this album (and the band in general) is that aside from it's amazing songwriting, the execution of the album is a little more than average. The vocalist is by no means spectacular and the guitarist and drummer are as average as any other bands'. Nevertheless, the true selling point for the band has always been their lyrics. So if you long for an album which you can listen to while nitpicking the nuances of its writing, don't hesitate to give this album a spin or two.

A Life on Stage

Alternatively titled "Why I became a dancer/performer"

To all my friends who have never been on a stage/performed in front of an audience, I'll tell you one thing. The feeling one get when on stage is unlike anything on Earth. There are a number of reasons that drive performers to be performers. Nevertheless, I'll just mention the reasons why I do so.

Firstly, it's simply because on stage, I get to live a whole new life. I've had my fair share of stage performances and I'll tell you, for those few minutes I'm on stage I feel most alive. My dance instructor once said "We you're on stage, you get to be anyone and anything. So much better than living your old boring life," and I couldn't agree more. On stage, we can get away with doing close to anything that is allowed by law. It's probably the only place where people will CHEER a performer when he cross-dresses (thanks ACS(I) Drama for burning my eye on way too many occasions). In a nutshell, when we're on stage, we cease to be us. We instead become the characters we have been chosen to play, for those few minute we have on stage.

Secondly, it's because I want to say something. Much like why politicians do what they do, performer perform because they want to be heard, be it with their words or otherwise. Dance was, is and will always be a form of expression. It's the visual interpretation of music. Even if I'm just performing another person's choreography, in the end when I'm on stage it's just me and the audience (and the other dancers of course). The point is, even if the words are not mine, it's me who's having the conversation. It's me who's having that connection with the audience and nothing can replace the feeling of connecting with an audience. I'm not quite at a level where I'll be able to pull off my own choreography but I hope to be able to one day.

Lastly, it's because I want to entertain. I want to be able to create a moment for my audience, even if that moment lasts for well... a moment. The famous anonymous quote saying "dance to express, not to impress". No matter how noble the intentions of the quote are, the quote by itself fails to see that dancers are at then end of it all still performers. To dance without any regard for what the audience might think is quite frankly just masturbation. Besides, I shudder to think they may be dancers who would not feel the slightest bit of happiness when they see how much enjoyment their audience gets. Don't get me wrong. I do believe to dance simply for the glitz and glamour is like smearing mud on the good name of other dancers but that doesn't make the other extreme any better.

At the end of the day, I dance because that's what I love to do. Dancing is by no means an easy thing to pursue. If I didn't have as much vested interest in dancing, I probably would have quit a long time ago. Thankfully, I love it as much as I do since I cannot imagine myself in a world without dance.

Drive and Aspirations

There will exist that one thing that a person is willing to spend the rest of their lives doing. That's what I truly believe in. I mean, I feel that I'm truly privileged to have found the things in life that make me feel alive, the things in life that I'll be doing for as long as I can. I've talked to friends, people who are deciding what course in university to pursue, people who have entered into the working world, and I have come to the understanding that maybe it's the norm for the common man to have little idea of what they want from life.

What are the most common fields of choice fresh undergraduates choose to pursue? For some of the brighter individuals, it's always the choice of law, medicine or business. Why? Simply because those are the choices that are likely to lead to the most profitable careers. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that all law and med students are in it for the money. But there's a point to be noted when an individual puts Law and Medicine as their top two choices for uni when in reality they are absolutely nothing alike.

I've been told before that 90% of people hate their jobs and it seems that some of my working friends support this statement. This has led me to question, "Why on earth do people continue to strive at something the despise?". I grant, not everybody may have the ability or the circumstances to allow them to pursue what they really want but 90% of the entire workforce? I'm hardly an adult myself but I refuse to believe that dreams and aspirations are really that much a fairytale, figments of a immature man's imagination.

I truly believe that every person has at least one thing that they want to do, that one thing makes the world and all its troubles seem insignificant. And if there really exists that one magnificent thing, we will want to keep doing it over and over. Eventually, we would become so good at the things we're passionate about that the larger society will find a use us, a use that both benefits society while allowing us to pursue the things we really have a vested interest in.

At this juncture, I should qualify the difference between passion and escapism. Playing computer games simply because we're too jaded to do anything else should not be confused with passion. No matter how much vested interest we may have in these activities, at the end of the day we're only pursuing them as a form of escape. On the other hand, if we are willing to put in as much effort into such 'escape' activities as say, a Korean professional StarCraft player, then that may be considered passion (of course, nobody should ever estimate the amount effort Korean StarCraft players put into their profession. E-sports is as much a legitimate sport as any when players are executing over 300 actions per minute).

Nevertheless, there will always be a trade-off. We cannot simply be good at something and expect employers to drop from the sky to offer us jobs to do specifically what we're good at. They is always some middle ground to be broken. For example, if one is passionate about cars to the point that one buys all kinds of car magazines and the like to keep up with the specs of the latest model, perhaps one could pursue a job where one actually designs car parts. Sure it's more work than sitting on one's ass while scrolling down an automotive website but one is still working with things that spark one's interest more than the average man.

So yeah. Don't settle for the average. Don't just dismiss dreams as simply dreams. Life is too precious to be spent hating it.

"Stay hungry, stay foolish." ~ Steve Jobs

The World Through Different Eyes

One of the things that has fascinated me till this very day is people or more specifically how different people perceive the world in different ways. I mean I'm only one person so I can only see the world in one way. So I always find it so intriguing how the world may look to another person. Some people may travel the world in search for 'exotic' people and cultures but to me, the person sitting next to me is as just as exotic as some other person on the other side of the globe.

Of course on the surface, people of the same culture will appear similar to one another but if we look deep enough, we'll find all the difference in the world. Every person grew up under different circumstances with different families, mingling different people, with different goals and aspirations. So I always find it most interesting listening to the daily life stories of different individuals, as if vicariously living their lives in fast forward for those few moments. To take the time to listen to the life of another is probably as interesting, if not more, as taking a holiday to a far off land to experience exotic cultures (at least that's what I believe in).

Same thing with artists, dancers and the like. Their works, their styles, are all embodiments of who they really are. Seeing a dancer freestyling in a cypher or capoeiristas in a roda is almost like having a conversation without words. Watching a person's honest choreography is like having a screen the looks right into the soul. Maybe that's one of the reasons why I choose to hang with these kinds of people.

But yeah, next time you have the time with someone, just sit down and listen to how the world looks like through a different pair of eyes.

Hello World!

Well...I have this New Media module that requires us to try out a new form of new media and so I chose to try out a blog. If time allows, I'll try to maintain this blog even after my module stops requiring it.

Anyhow, what will you find on this blog? Pretty much anything the comes to my mind. Anything from amateur reviews of stuff I like to random musings to possibly even the odd piece of literature. Like what a blog is defined to be, it is an open diary for any interested passerby to read.

Hopefully this will be the start of something good =D